For Older Immigrants, An Invisible Existence

Dear all


I have seen many parents of NRIs shuttling between their beloved cities in In India and spending,much against their wishes and sacrificing personal needs-social, cultural and religious, to support their off -springs or their childrens' requirements. NRIs wish to have the cake and eat it too, bereft of their parents emotional and other support so necessary in their silver/golden years.Of course, the younger genset even in India today are both career-oriented and pass their burdens to their aged parents.

Alternatively, the parents are 'warehoused' in an old age home,most of which are mere profit-centres for the trustees.The inmates are treated like 'refugees' and given basic amenities.As part of services of WECARE Foundation, I have visited many such homes and chatted with many residents who have told their miserable stories @ home from their children.They have nowhere else to go in search of peace and shelter.And are so happy to interact with a stranger like me who spends sometime caring and making simple enquiries about their welfare and needs.It gives me a sense of fulfillment, myself being a senior who has chosen to opt out of my childrens' lives.

pattoo Srinivasan

---------- Forwarded message ----------

From:

Date: Tue, Sep 1, 2009 at 9:52 AM

Subject: Fw For Older Immigrants, An Invisible Existence


Sir,

There is much more to it than the casual observer can see.

Elder abuse is a taboo topic amongst the Indian (young professional) immigrants.

Elder abuse is rampant and some elders have got together to raise their voice.

It is not only the daughter in law who abuses the elderly but the sons who use the elders to get tax deductions and ensure that they don't spend more than what they get as tax deductions and even think of elders as positive cash flow considering the baby sitting and food services provided by the elderly.

Some of the parents do of think of the issue at all till they are sensitized by the actiovitsts!

A very sensitive topic: of own children exploiting their own parents!

First time I heard of it, i could not believe it, now I recognize and realize the truth in it.

Nath


On Mon, Aug 31, 2009 at 10:34 AM, wrote:

For Older Immigrants, An Invisible Existence

Source: www.nytimes. com

For Older Immigrants, An Invisible Existence

August 30th, 2009

Source: www.nytimes. com

FREMONT, CA, USA, August 30, 2009: They gather five days a week at a mall called the Hub, sitting on concrete planters and sipping thermoses of chai. These elderly immigrants from India are members of an all-male group called The 100 Years Living Club. They talk about crime in nearby Oakland, the cheapest flights to Delhi and how to deal with recalcitrant daughters-in- law.

Together, they fend off the well of loneliness and isolation that so often accompany the move to this country late in life from distant places, some culturally light years away.

“If I don’t come here, I have sealed lips, nobody to talk to,” said Devendra Singh, a 79-year-old widower. Meeting beside the parking lot, the men were oblivious to their fellow mall rats, backpack-carrying teenagers swigging energy drinks.

In this country of twittering youth, Mr. Singh and his friends form a gathering force: the elderly, who now make up America’s fastest-growing immigrant group. Since 1990, the number of foreign-born people over 65 has grown from 2.7 million to 4.3 million — or about 11 percent of the country’s recently arrived immigrants. Their ranks are expected to swell to 16 million by 2050. In California, one in nearly three seniors is now foreign born, according to a 2007 census survey.

Many are aging parents of naturalized American citizens, reuniting with their families. Yet experts say that America’s ethnic elderly are among the most isolated people in America. Seventy percent of recent older immigrants speak little or no English. Most do not drive. Some studies suggest depression and psychological problems are widespread, the result of language barriers, a lack of social connections and values that sometimes conflict with the dominant American culture, including those of their assimilated children.

The lives of transplanted elders are largely untracked, unknown outside their ethnic or religious communities.

“In India there is a favorable bias toward the elders,” Mr. Singh said, sitting amid Hindu religious posters and a photograph of his late wife. “Here people think about what is convenient and inconvenient for them.”

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"Caring + Sharing = Loving"
Srinivasan Pattoo,Wecare Foundation
Bayview Apts,19/22,New Beach Rd, Thiruvanmiyur, Chennai-600041
Tel/Fax:044- 24513439; Mobile:9840096990
website:wecarefoundation. in