Puns on Animals

The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line.
On the surface of things whales are always blowing it.
The marine biology seminars weren’t for entertainment, but were created for educational porpoises.

Horses, Cows and the Like
A horse is a very stable animal.
If you hear it from the horse's mouth you're listening to a neigh sayer.
There were three horses on a ship including a sick bay.
After the horse ate all of his hay he had a baleful look about him.
One horse said to another: your pace is familiar but I don't remember the mane.
Sign at a deer crossing: The Buck Stops Here.
A zoo had a camel with no humps named 'Humphrey'.
He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.
Male deer have buck teeth.
The best way to stop a charging bull is to take away his credit card.
When a cow gives birth she not only gives cream, she is de-calf-inated.


Cats and Dogs
A dog breeder crossed a setter and a pointer at Christmas time and got a pointsetter.
A cat ate some cheese and waited for a mouse with baited breath.
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was ticketed for littering.
In the winter my dog wears his coat, but in the summer he wears his coat and pants.
Insects and Creepy-Crawlies
One grasshopper told another about eating corn. It went in one ear and out the other.
Scientists have created a flea from scratch.
Insects that make honey are always on their best bee-hive-iour.
When a new hive is done bees have a house swarming party.
A smelly ant was expelled from the colony because he was deodorant.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
A toothless termite walked into a tavern and said, "Is the bar tender here?"
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


More Funny Animal Puns
Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged with battery.
It's OK to watch an elephant bathe as they usually have their trunks on.
Have you ever heard of an honest cheetah?
A skunk fell in the river and stank to the bottom.
An elephant's opinion carries a lot of weight.