The space-toilet gets refurbished

Aakaashe sauchaalaya: /sauchakuupa: Puna: nishkrutam

(the space-toilet gets refurbished)

Dear friends,

This ace Air Commod (or) e (made up story of course) fresh from a long field tenure was posted to Air Hq on a boring desk-job. Not used to the redtapism, he literally tore his hairs down (what little was left on his thin top) each morning cursing his luck. He was so restless that for the first few weeks he did nothing but relocating and repositioning himself at various rooms. His close friends left him alone thinking that he must be shell shocked and needed time and space to recover. And recover he did!..When he comfortably and happily ensconced himself by putting his massive table next to the toilet....and dispensing the pending files with speed from that strategic venue.

That was when others were shell shocked. Every one wondered as to how the Air Cmde felt at peace near the loo? But none dared to ask why? Until (as always is the case) one youngster caught up with him at the bar with his sun-downer and dared to pose the inevitable "How come, sir?"

"Well, son", he took a gulp. "I tried various locales and rooms in this Vayu Bhavan but never found ok until I chose the Latrine area"

"Sir, but......" probed the youngster.

"I know what you mean", Air cmde cut him short." You may think it's weird. But out of all the places, that place is special. That place is the only one here in Vayu Bhavan, where people seem to know EXACTLY WHAT TO DO!!"And he took another gulp of his chosen 'poison'.

I too always felt like a king (Lord of all I surveyed) albeit for a short period every early morning when sitting on "the throne" with the news paper all for myself. I thought I was in full control of my self for few moments. But I didn't realize the 'Gravity' of the situation and how hopelessly ill-equipped I was even when I want to get rid of things (is evacuation a better word?) I no longer need, buttressing (note these spellings carefully lest I get hauled up over the coals) the maxim "na aham kinchit karomi iti"....I do nothing at all policy! All these after I read yesterday’s TOI 21-07-09 pp 13.

The gist is that two orbital commodes (note the spelling please...there is no 'or') flooded on Sunday. Amid all of last weekend’s Apollo coverage, little was made of astronauts’ No. 1 problem. Their toilet broke. The International Space Station is hosting its largest party ever – six regular crew members and seven extra astronauts working on further maintenance around the base. What an unfortunate time for the commode to flood!!!!. These $19-million (thrones) Russian toilets have broken before, and mission managers worry that the growing list of guests will continue to overwhelm the station’s two toilets. The docked shuttle Endeavour provided a temporary loo on Sunday as astronauts repaired the flooded separator pump and control panel. After a few hours of plumbing (here I can’t fix my kitchen tap without my plumber Gundappa’s help). Monday morning, the crew fixed the toilet. (and here I can't even fix a cistern at home.......about that story later...almost like the kid's story "Uncle Podger Puts up a Picture").It means astronauts won't have to resort to Apollo-era bags to stow their waste once the commode aboard Endeavour was full.

Now here comes the "enlightenment" of mine! “Since astronauts are weightless in space, the space toilets use airflow and vacuums to draw waste away from the body in place of gravity."...

'tvam kim karoshi iti?" is still left unanswered.

As if that 'tatvam' was not enough, here is more.."The newer toilet is part of a larger waste-water system that recycles astronaut urine, sweat and waste-water back into drinkable water." (a la one of our country’s earlier nonagenarian P.......ishtyle) . For those fond of visuals, here’s a quick schematic attached. So, how does a space toilet work? Since liquids don’t behave well in zero-gravity, Russian engineers devised a series of suction tubes and fans. If you want to follow the lead further, do visit
http://www.foxnews/. com/story/ 0,2933,534094,00.html

And read “Flooded $19 Million Space Toilet Repaired”……written...By Tariq Malik Monday, July 20, 2009

I know some are waiting to ask, What 'on earth' has this to do with our group? Search me! I merely wanted to get to the bottom of it all and share my predicament (if ever I were an astronaut) viz I can't quietly (any more) flush things down,..(up-there) , the toilet where they can’t come back and hurt me like down-here I do so many times. Also, looks like it is more true up-there..the saying "you get back what you give" for "what goes out comes round" than down-under!

Ciao

V~v~R



22-07-09